To my baby boy Henry.

 At our 20-week scan, we found out Henry had a heart defect. I wasn’t prepared for the rollercoaster that would become his life. Every week brought something new. First the diagnosis, then learning what it meant. I found out I’d have to travel to Melbourne for care, which is a 12-hour round trip. Every appointment was full of stress, not knowing if his condition would be stable or worse.

 We were given some hope when they told us his heart defect wasn’t as bad as first thought, and that he might not need surgery until he was older. But then things turned. The fluid on his lungs was getting worse, and I was admitted to hospital straight away, completely unprepared, thinking I’d only be in Melbourne for a day or two. I had to call my partner to rush over, and I was so lucky to have my beautiful friends, Laura and Shelley, step up to care for our animals. I’m still so grateful for them, because of them I could focus on being in hospital.

 That time in hospital was a mental battle I wasn’t ready for. The plan kept changing. Every department was involved. After a week, the doctors made the call to let Henry keep growing a bit longer. Just as I was starting to believe maybe things would be okay, they couldn’t find his heartbeat during a routine check. Henry passed away at 33 weeks, in June 2023.

 The weeks after that were the hardest of my life. I’m so thankful I had the support of Red Nose. I’ve had counselling through them for the last two years, and I honestly don’t think I would have made it through without their help and the love of my other son, Thomas, who was the sunshine in all of it.

 I wouldn’t wish what we went through on anyone. It’s changed me completely. But I’ll always be grateful for the people who stood by us. My family, my friends, and everyone who supported us while we were in Melbourne. To beautiful Tenille that looked after Thomas while I had hospital appointments and was there for me so much mentally throughout this time, I am eternally grateful.