Billy was taken from us after a diagnosis we never saw coming.
My name is Tara . I am 33 years old and live in Brisbane, Queensland. I became involved with Red Nose after the loss of my little one, Billy.
Like so many people, I had always heard about getting past the 12-week mark in pregnancy. I thought that once I had reached that point, and after receiving perfect NIPT results, I was in the clear. I never imagined that something so devastating could still happen at the 20-week scan.
What we learned that day shattered us. I do not think enough people talk about this part of pregnancy, or about the fear of being misunderstood when it comes to termination for medical reasons. It can feel like you are being given a choice, but not really.
In many ways, it does not feel like a choice at all.
I had never realised that waiting until the 20-week scan could be such a critical moment. I already had a living child, and even then, this was not something I had ever truly thought about.
I was first put in touch with Red Nose through the social workers at the hospital. From there, Red Nose supported me in so many ways. I received one-on-one counselling with a grief counsellor, read articles and resources on the Red Nose website, connected with others through peer support, joined the Heart Strings Membership program, and found support through online groups and social media communities.
Red Nose was there for as long as I needed them. They were extremely supportive and considerate, and that made an enormous difference at a time when everything felt impossible.
My family includes Billy’s father, William, and Billy’s sister, Gracie, who is seven. Losing Billy changed all of us, and the support we received helped us feel less alone in the grief.
To any other families going through similar pain right now, I do not think anything anyone says can really make you feel better. But having someone who validates you, who lets you spill out everything you are feeling, can help. For me, that support came from a group of loss mums I met through the online space.
For me, Red Nose Day is about awareness. I think that is extremely important. The funds raised through Red Nose Day help make sure families can access grief and loss support, research, and safe sleep education when they need it most.
