In loving memory of Sprinkle
I had wanted to have children for as long as I can remember.
So when I met Khyll and we fell pregnant after we were married, we were ecstatic. I had always wanted to be ‘a mum’, and from the moment I found out we were pregnant I imagined all that this baby would experience, and allow us to experience.
I imagined the perfect birth. I imagined seeing them meet all their milestones, start school and become a teenager. I imagined them starting a career and one day getting married and starting their own family. After our 12-week scan, every one of those dreams fell to pieces.We were informed that our baby - a little girl - had several severe diagnoses; Cystic hygroma, Hydrops fetalis and Turner syndrome. These diagnoses lead us to make the heartbreaking decision to terminate for medical reasons (TFMR).
We named our little girl, “Sprinkle”. She was delivered at 14 weeks on 31st December 2017.
4 years after losing Sprinkle and after having our second living child, I was talking to a counsellor from Karitane on some of the struggles I was experiencing. The counsellor suggested I get in touch with Red Nose for counselling more specific to my experience. The counsellor I engaged with from Red Nose for the months that followed helped give me active strategies to cope with both my grief and struggles in parenting my living children through that grief and guilt.
1 in 4 Australian’s experience pregnancy loss. The pain of losing a child, in the womb or living, will never completely disappear, but as time moves along and life gets busier, the pain becomes a little blurred instead of being a primary focus in your day to day existence.
We now have two beautiful rainbow children - Maddalie and Zachary - and this Red Nose Day we will be marking the day by talking to them more about their ‘Angel Sister’ and remembering Sprinkle.