My twin boys, Zayd and Jett, were born at 23 weeks and 5 days. After our anatomy scan at 22 weeks and 4 days showed an incompetent cervix and moderate to severe IUGR, we were given the news that Twin B, Jett, would not survive. He was measuring no more than 18 weeks.
After a week of strict bed rest, I began heavily bleeding and my body went into labour. Both boys were successfully intubated and taken to the RWH NICU. Just shy of five hours after birth, Jett passed peacefully on my partner's chest, holding on to my hand.
While we grieved our sweet boy, we were also living the hardest journey we have ever endured, a 141 day NICU stay with baby Zayd, where there were many times we thought we would lose him too.
Navigating grief for one twin while remaining strong for the other is something I feel is rarely talked about. You are grieving and experiencing happiness at the same time, alongside the fear of losing your remaining baby too.
Through it all, Red Nose walked beside us. Their counsellors gave us one-on-one support, and their 24/7 Grief and Loss Line was there whenever we needed it, day or night. We connected with other families through peer support who understood exactly what we were carrying, and the Red Nose website gave us words and resources when we had none of our own.
What helped most was being told that every emotion we felt was normal, that there is no straight line through grief, especially through a NICU journey. The nurses and doctors said Jett's name throughout our stay. They went further too, creating an alphabet book with his hand and footprints, placing him inside his brother's crib for photos, making sure Jett was never left out of his twin's story.
We know Jett has been by his brother's side since the day they were born, and we know he is the reason Zayd made it home with us.
Support like this means bereaved families are never told to grieve quietly or alone. It means a baby's name is spoken, remembered, and honoured. Your support helps Red Nose be there for the next family walking this same path, so that no parent has to navigate a loss like this without someone beside them.
Red Nose helped us navigate our grief, whether it was during the day or in the middle of the night. No one ever expects to go through child loss but knowing there are resources available to parents makes a world of difference.
What I would say to others going through loss
Remember that grief is not linear, and there is no expected timeline for when or how long you should grieve. I read a quote recently that said, “Grief is like glitter. At first it is everywhere and impossible to escape. But as time goes on and you think you’ve tidied it up, you catch a shimmer to remind you. It shows up in quiet moments, in the middle of joy. Not loud, not always, but always there.” Seven months on, I still get glimpses of glitter that remind me of what once was and what should have been. Never let anyone dismiss the way you grieve, because to grieve means loving with nowhere for that love to go.
What I am doing on Red Nose Day
On Red Nose Day, 27 August 2026, I will spend the day remembering our sweet boy, Jett. I plan to take Zayd out with his brother’s teddy, which holds Jett’s ashes, to a garden or park. We will continue to carry Jett’s memory with us in everything we do.
In memory of Jett. In honour of Zayd.
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If this story has brought up any issues for you please reach out to our 24/7 Grief and Loss support line on 1300 308 307 or visit the support section of our website.
