In loving memory of Emerson
When I was 23 weeks pregnant with our daughter Emerson she was diagnosed with full Trisomy 9. My husband Marvin and I were told she had a 0% chance of survival and it was unlikely she would survive a full gestation – and even less likely that she would be born alive.
Emmy was an incredibly strong little fighter, and despite having medical odds against her she defied them. At every weekly scan we could see her moving around, sucking her thumb and playing with her feet.
Emmy was strong. She was determined to meet her parents and her older sister Willow. And she did. On August 29th, 2022 – at 41 weeks gestation, Emerson (Emmy) Rose Saolele was born alive. We spent the most precious 1.5 hours together before she passed away.
Emmy was very loved and cherished. She was born with incredibly thick black hair, and Willow was so excited to meet her, saying she was “so beautiful.”
Although we were told about Red Nose through our hospital when I was pregnant, I didn’t have the mental capacity to think about support. I was just trying to survive the pregnancy, knowing that I was going to lose my child at the end of it.
Toward the end of the pregnancy I completed a self-referral for Red Noses’ Hospital to Home program. It was difficult to do, but I knew I would need all the support I could get.
The Hospital to Home program provided such a valuable support to me in the first few months after losing Emmy. Red Nose not only provided practical support and advice, but my peer-support person provided the kind of empathy and understanding that only a parent who has lost a baby – or child - can understand. I could share my worst and hardest thoughts and ask the tough questions because I knew that person had walked the path that I was walking on. It was an incredible support and I always looked forward to our speaking.
This year I plan to raise funds for Red Nose Day in honour of my daughter Emmy, so families who experience baby loss (of any form) can continue to receive the emotional and practical support that Red Nose provide.
To lose a baby at any stage of live is one of the most heartbreaking moments anyone can experience, yet there is so little acknowledgement of this and support available. Sadly, there will be families in the future who have to experience this and the support that Red Nose provides is so valuable and needed.
For those who lose a little loved one, I can say that grief is incredibly painful, and it doesn’t get easier. However, life does grow around grief slowly and you will feel joy again. Nothing will ever replace your baby that was loved and cherished, but there will be beautiful moments amongst the pain. I encourage you to remember your baby, to do what feels right for you, to grieve and to take care of yourself first.
