Evie’s star shining the brightest in Rory and Georgia’s universe
In loving memory of Evie
At my wife’s 20-week scan, we saw the cutest peace sign to let us know everything was going well. It was perfect, we were super excited! This was Evie’s way of telling Georgia and I, “Hey mum and dad, I’m snug and I’m doing well, and I can’t wait to meet you!”
Also at the 20-week scan, we were told by the obstetrician there was an issue with Georgia’s cervix – it was short, but not short enough to cause extreme concern. Georgia was given progesterone, and we were booked into a follow up scan a week later to monitor the situation.
As expectant parents you’re planning for the future, you’re looking for things to buy little bub, you’re telling your friends about the news.
Our week outlook was shortened to four days when the unimaginable happened.
On a Sunday afternoon, Georgia was feeling a bit funny, so we decided to call our OB and go in for an emergency scan for peace of mind. At that scan, we found out that Georgia’s cervix had completely opened, although her water hadn’t yet burst.
It was at that moment I remember immediately sobbing uncontrollably. It was as if I knew what would happen next, but also extremely hopeful that everything would be okay.
It wasn’t.
Our OB and another OB performed an emergency manoeuvre hoping to get Georgia’s waters back fully so they could attempt an emergency stitch.
Unfortunately, Georgia’s waters immediately burst and we were informed it was now just a matter of time until she went into labour and being just under 21 weeks, there was no chance of our beautiful little girl making it.
That night we slept in the hospital fully expecting for labour to begin at any moment. We didn’t sleep a wink, just a lot of tears and a phone call to my parents to give them the dreadful news.
A wave of emotion
As a new day dawned, Georgia still hadn’t gone into labour, but our daughter was still alive. I asked a midwife who specialised in caring for parents in our situation if there was any chance that they could keep her inside for a few weeks so there was a chance of her surviving.
I was told it wasn’t possible.
Georgia rapidly developed a fever and the hospital decided they had to induce the labour with medication for her sake. The labour itself was dreadful, my wife was in so much pain the entire time – lasting nine hours with constant monitoring telling us little Evie was still alive, but knowing she wouldn’t survive birth.
Our beautiful Evie came into the world on 14 March 2022 and I held her in my arms with Georgia. We lovingly took a few photos with our perfect girl, knowing these were precious moments we would cherish forever.
As I held her in those two brief, but forever lasting minutes, I saw her little chest convulse as she struggled to breathe. I just whispered to her how much her mummy and daddy loved her more than anything in the world and that we always would.
Feeling supported by Red Nose
I am a picture book author, and my publisher Scholastic Australia was extremely supportive and worked with me to publish a book called My Little Star, dedicated to Evie and all the little stars taken too soon.
When it was about to be released, I reached out to Red Nose to see whether there was a way they could help me spread the word of its release as it is a book that can provide comfort to parents and children after loss. They were incredibly supportive, we talked about promotion opportunities, and they put me in touch with my local branch so that I could attend my first Walk to Remember.
Red Nose gave me a far greater platform to spread My Little Star and it’s important to both Georgia and I as it is Evie’s legacy.
The first star I see at night, I always think of little Evie. She’s the brightest little star in our universe.
Encouraging others this Red Nose Day, 9 August 2024
Speaking about the experience of loss helps others feel they can talk about their own loss and for Red Nose Day, I will be sharing my book with an online reading of My Little Star.
Whether you realise it or not, some people in your life have experienced loss, old and young, male and female. In many circumstances, they will have kept their loss and accompanying grief to themselves or just to their partner because it somehow doesn’t seem acceptable to talk about, but they need you to be willing to talk about it.
My heart goes out to the many families who have also experienced a loss – the pain never goes away but time does lessen it. There are days where the pain still hurts because that rawness can make you feel closer to your child…but it’s healthy. It isn’t you forgetting your child, you will never forget, rather it is you living the best life you can for them and because they cannot.
There are many ways to get involved in this year’s Red Nose Day. You can fundraise in honour of a little life, host a Red Nose Disco, buy merchandise or make a donation in memory of Evie here.
The free Red Nose Support Line is available 24/7: 1300 308 307.
Red Nose Day aims to raise $1 million this year, to help save little lives and support grieving families. To register or donate visit rednoseday.org.au
