Bereaved mum, Fyonna shares why she's decided to take part in Red Nose Day this year in honour of her firstborn baby daughter, Freya.
This year I’m fundraising for Red Nose Day – inviting my family and friends to donate in honour of my baby daughter, Freya, who we lost at 19 weeks’ gestation.
My husband and I had tried for 8 years to have a baby. I remember the previous Boxing Day saying to my husband “it’s not going to happen. I have to accept it and move on.”
So, when I found out I was pregnant it was very exciting.
Because I was older at the time – I was 38 – it was suggested that I do the Harmony test at 12 weeks.
At 18 weeks I got the results back, which revealed that the baby had Trisomy 18.
I had to be induced and give birth to the baby.
She was born at Sandringham Hospital on 7 June 2013.
Because she wasn’t 20 weeks, she wasn’t really acknowledged as a life lost. There was no birth certificate and no burial or cremation. I never got any closure.
After the baby was born, I didn’t know what to do or how to act. I thought it would be easier if I didn’t see her or touch her. But after I got home, I really started to regret that. I rang the hospital and they were able to tell me that we’d had a baby girl. We named her Freya, after the amazing midwife who delivered her.
It was then I found out that someone from Red Nose (known as SIDS & Kids then) had taken photos and hand and foot prints for us.
If it weren't for that experience, knowledge and forethought, I'd have nothing of her. I had no idea that I would change my mind and have such feelings of regret about not seeing her, but they obviously knew and I'm so grateful for that.
We also had a counsellor from Red Nose talk to us afterwards, which really helped.
Having that kind of support available is crucial. Yes, you can go and see a psychologist but they may not understand everything you are going through in the same way.
I fell pregnant again six months later, just as we were thinking of starting IVF. That baby is now my daughter, Aria, who is 6 and a half.
Freya would have turned 8 on the 7th June and it just felt like the right time to do something for Red Nose to give back for the gift of memories we were given.
Freya’s photos sit in my bedside table and I like knowing they are always right there. I want Red Nose to be there to support parents to spend time with their babies in the future, so they have no regrets. That's why I'm supporting Red Nose Day.
Red Nose Grief and Loss services are here for anyone affected by the death of a baby or child. Call our 24/7 Support Line on 1300 308 307 or visit rednosegriefandloss.org.au
