Kelly Kondraciuk

Day 31

Sunday 31st Aug On Wednesday, the 30th of April, I was at work. During my afternoon tea break, I checked my phone like I usually do. I noticed I had missed calls from Mum, Scott, and Josh. My heart sank. When I finally got through to them, I heard "there's no heartbeat". I left work immediately and drove to my parents’ house. They were packing up their caravan, and together we made the decision that I would go with them. Every part of me knew I needed to be with Hannah. She needed me and I needed to be by her side. We arrived in Whyalla late that night and went straight to the hospital. As we walked to the ward I felt sick and scared. I didn’t know what I was going to say. How could I possibly ease this pain and help my sister survive something like this. That night, I stayed in the hospital with her. When she finally drifted off to sleep, I lay there quietly in the dark, trying to process what was happening. I didn’t want to move, I didn’t want to wake her and bring her back into the nightmare she was finally getting a brief break from. When the sun rose, Hannah stirred and looked at me. “This can’t be real,” her hands holding her belly. “She’s still in here, I haven't got everything for her yet.” We cried. I held her. There were no words just grief and love. Mum arrived early that morning. She stayed with Hannah so I could go and rest for a while. I returned to the hospital that evening, just before dinner. Hannah had been given medication to induce labour during the day, but when I arrived, the midwives had decided to stop it and try again in the morning as things weren’t progressing. They left, and Mum and I remained with her. Within the hour, everything changed. Hannah suddenly entered active labour. I held her in the shower as she breathed through the contractions. She looked at me, exhausted, scared, and said, “I can’t do this.” “Yes, you can,” I told her. “You’re the strongest person I know." Not long after she was moved to the labour ward, and Josh arrived with his mum. Hannah was calm, completely centered. She was in control, riding each contraction with strength and grace. I was in complete awe of her. She knew exactly when it was time to push. I moved to where I could witness Amber being born and with that, she entered the world in silence. Though her cry never came, her presence filled the room. She was perfect, and she was deeply loved from the very first moment. Share

Day 25

Monday 25th Aug On today’s walk, I found myself thinking back to Hannah’s baby shower weekend — something that should be a happy memory, but is now clouded by grief and the heartbreak of what could have been. It was that Friday I drove up, car packed with baby shower games, decorations, and thank-you gifts, all ready to celebrate Hannah and her little girl, Amber. Her other aunties, Nissa and Celeste, had helped me pull everything together so we could give Hannah the best day possible. Saturday was perfect. We laughed, played games, and shared stories about what labour might be like. The room was filled with excitement and love — exactly what I’d hoped for her. The next morning, Sunday, I had to head back to Adelaide. Hannah was on the couch, emotional and teary, partly because I was leaving, and partly because everything was about to change in just eight weeks. We talked, hugged, and I told her, “Next time I visit, you’ll be holding your beautiful baby.” I drove away feeling that mix of sadness and excitement for what was to come. I never imagined how cruel life could be — that just three days later, everything would be taken away from someone I love so deeply. Share

Day 14

Thursday 14th Aug Day 14: Looking back on another cherished memory with my sister, my Mum, and Charli. Hannah had come down to Adelaide for the weekend, and after not seeing her for a few months, I was so excited to spend time with her — especially to see her beautiful growing belly. She was 28 weeks offically in the 3rd trimester 🩷 That Saturday, we spent the day on a shopping spree at Baby Bunting. We helped Hannah pick out some of the bigger essentials a pram and car seats then slowly made our way through each aisle, choosing swaddles, a breastfeeding pillow, a play mat, a baby swing, and cot sheets. I remember us laughing as we packed everything into the car, completely filling it to the brim with baby things. For a moment, we wondered if it was all going to fit. It was such a joyful and hope-filled day. We shared in the excitement, imagining what life would be like once the baby arrived. A beautiful memory I’ll always hold close to my heart. Now I struggle to look at the store without feeling an overwhelming wave of sadness it just reminds me of what we have lost. That night I sat next to Hannah and placed my hand on her belly waiting to feel baby kick. I wanted to feel her kick and I knew Hannah was leaving the next day so this was my last opportunity for a while! I spoke to her belly telling her it's her Aunty she has to kick for me but the cheeky girl waited till Hannah had left and it was Charli - her big sister that she kicked for that night. 💗 My kids also gave their Aunty some special drawings that weekend 💗 Share

Day 10

Monday 11th Aug Today's walk was done at Morialta Falls. It was a gorgeous day to spend in nature with the family. 🩷 Share

Day 7

Thursday 7th Aug Day 7  Share

Day 3

Sunday 3rd Aug Another beautiful day for a walk in honour of my neice. I had both Amber's cousins join me this time- James and Cadence. Thankyou to all who are donating. The support means so much to our family Share

Day 2

Saturday 2nd Aug My daughter- Amber's cousin joined me on our walk today. As we walked we talked about Amber. Cadence told me that Amber would have loved the ducks we saw in the creek and she told me how excited she was to have a baby cousin. I reminded her that she does have a baby cousin even though she's not here with us she is in our hearts. Cadence smiled and nodded. In our family Amber is talked about, she is remembered and she is loved every day. 🤍 Share

Day 1

Friday 1st Aug A beautiful day to kick start my challenge to walk everyday for the month of August in honour of Amber and my sister Hannah.  ❤️  Share